hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
