Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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