Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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