careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
