you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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