it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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