Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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