They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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