So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
