i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
