What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
