i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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