in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
