Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
