Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
