I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize