i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
