so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
