I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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