i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
