Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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