If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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