I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
