he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.