ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.