just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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