i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
