oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
