when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
