I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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