I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
