stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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