remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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