I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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