Sober January is a disaster.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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