sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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