Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
