I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
