i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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