it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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