Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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