And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize