i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
