I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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