3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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