Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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