What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
