once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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