I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
FUCK WHALES
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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