you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
