She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize