do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
