So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
