But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
