i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
