Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize