turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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